Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
