When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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