Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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