I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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