Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
