Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
