just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
