just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Randomize
