just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
