where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
