Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
