Non-Jews are for practice
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she looked like the before picture.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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