I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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