Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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