you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
