What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I'm really busy with my period
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