Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
