wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
