u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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