Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
are you so shy because you have an std?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
