sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
