I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
