he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
