So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
What a dumb baby whore.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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