She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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