i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
