I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
