I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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