i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
