If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
