I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
