My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
