I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
