So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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