In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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