Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
