I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
