I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
