what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My ass is underappreciated
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
