I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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