So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
