i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
