Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you didnt know i had herpes?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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