Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
