I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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