I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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