do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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