Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
50% drunk capacity currently
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
