its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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