There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
