so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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