brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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