I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
